My Health Struggles: Part 1: Ex-vegetarian Confessions (aka How I wrecked my digestive system)

Those who know me, know that I'm a health freak. I can be very anal about what I eat, how I sleep, and my workout frequency. Nothing gets in the way of fitness!

My doppelganger getting her exercise! :)
(https://www.airforcemedicine.af.mil/News/Article/808862/elder-fitness-program-gets-results/)

It wasn't always that way. Sometimes, you don't know the true value of something until you lose it. And I am very very fortunate to have regained my health.

If I saw my ex again, I would say...

My breath caught in my throat. I thought I saw someone that looked like Exbae. The emotions hit like a sack of bricks, as if seven seconds not seven months had passed since our breakup.

I didn't approach him, and never knew if it was him, but I was very hung up emotionally for the next few days. My friend, whom I'll refer to as SaltySam, didn't understand. He wondered aloud what I would even say to him if we did have an opportunity for a conversation. 

My response was this letter. Overall, I think writing this out helped to release a lot of my emotions, and move me one step closer to getting over him :) (And also reduces my desire to reach out to Exbae)


 ___________________________

Dear Exbae,

First Relationship Follies

Exbae was a brave man. He knew he was getting involved with someone who had zero relationship experience. A someone who also happens to be self-righteous, stubborn, and with strong perfectionist tendencies to boot. In fact, Exbae was the third person I've ever been on a date with, and I was one month away from turning 26 when we first met. 

At the time, I believed I had great relationship skills, that I was someone very easy to get along with, and that I was an amazing catch. In my professional life, my interpersonal and teamwork skills were on point. People loved being in a team with me, and my group projects were often top in the class. I also watched all of Matthew Hussey's videos and read a lot of John Gray. I thought I knew what I was doing. I thought I was ready for this.

My Journey to Self Compassion #1: Emotional Reintegration

Hello my dear reader :)

I thought I would start a series on my personal journey to loving myself.

Self-love has transformed my life. Now, I get excited to turn a year older, because with each year, I've been loving myself more and more. As a result, each year the beauty of life touches me a bit more deeply. It is interesting how much easier it is to see beauty everywhere once you start to see beauty within yourself and your own life.

It wasn't always that way for me. There was a point in my life (late junior high and extending until first year of university) where I hated myself. Loathed my whole being. Every day, every hour, every minute, I wished I was someone different. I couldn't bear being in my own skin, in my situation, in my family. Life definitely wasn't fun during those years, and I reached the point of being borderline suicidal.

Amway/WWDB Part 5: Conclusion

This is Part 5 of the Dealbreaker for our relationship. You can read Part 1, Part 2, Part 3, Part 4.

Thanks for sticking through the whole series all the way to the last part!

I know that if I really wanted Exbae to leave his MLM, I had to provide a feasible alternative. I couldn't just bash his current path without painting a picture of a better future. Below is my suggestion for what he can do instead of Amway.  

_______________________________________________________________


Conclusion

I fully admit I probably wouldn’t be attracted to you if you haven’t undergone the personal growth that was spurred by your involvement with Amway/WWDB.