Thanks for sticking through the whole series all the way to the last part!
I know that if I really wanted Exbae to leave his MLM, I had to provide a feasible alternative. I couldn't just bash his current path without painting a picture of a better future. Below is my suggestion for what he can do instead of Amway.
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Conclusion
I fully admit I probably wouldn’t be attracted to you if you haven’t undergone the personal growth that was spurred by your involvement with Amway/WWDB.
However, the more I learned about your Amway involvement, the more it felt like drug dealing to me. I saw how addiction to the “Amway dream” limited people’s futures. I saw how a toxic mindset (in my eyes) was propagated through duplication. I saw the indoctrination and manipulation that was used to mislead people into taking the drug- believing in the “Amway dream”- even though it was obvious to me that the dream is a lie.
There are many ways to achieve success, to achieve your "why"* of time and financial freedom, and your "why" of leading a life of significance. There are ways that don’t involve being in a cage, like Robby, and dealing the “Amway dream”. Of course, this is my personal opinion from my limited experience, but I will share them with you regardless.
*To my readers: our "whys" are our life goals, why we pursue the things that we do
I can see how time/financial freedom and creating value for society may seem like impossible goals when someone is working at a dead-end job, which may make Amway/WWDB an appealing option. However, this is Canada, and opportunities for people to build the life they want are endless. For example, below are a selection of a few methods that come to my mind:
- A job! Working a job is not mutually exclusive with having time and financial freedom like how Mr. Diamond portrays. A job can be hand in hand with freedom. For example, working as a acupuncturist gives flexibility in working hours while doing something enjoyable. For example, my cousin who is an optometrist recently took five months off to travel because she has the financial flexibility. Getting paid to do something you love that isn’t too draining on your schedule and health is my way of creating freedom for myself, and if you think differently, that is okay. One thing is that most of these types of jobs require...
- Education! To me, education definitely is a costly investment, but it is what truly gives someone choice in our current society. For example, a diploma makes so many job openings available to you, and a degree even more so. For example, time and financial flexibility. Just using framer and economist as an example, the six years of lost income for the six more years of education will be earned back within seven years, and the opportunity for income growth and ability to make an impact on a large number of people is much higher for an economist. Working to influence policy may also feel less like a “job” and more like “work”, but that’s really up to the individual.
(https://www.payscale.com/research/CA/Job=Economist/Salary)
Education also provides a safety net because graduates have an actual degree/diploma that can be used to qualify for the types of jobs I mentioned above, and it opens so many doors. Contrast this with Amway/WWDB, where the investment does not come result in anything usable when writing a resume, which is the first step in qualifying for a job. I’m not saying drop everything and go study in university. You need to do what makes sense for you at this time. Thinking about your interests and short and long term goals and type of work you would enjoy.
I was going to suggest Digital Media and IT since it seems versatile, flexible, and gives you an opportunity to showcase your creativity, but unfortunately we never had time to really get into our strategic planning conversations.
I was also thinking civil or architectural technology programs, but those seem to have less flexibility and more difficulty in creating an empire from. Similarly, working in finance may give you a great starting salary, but the empire/building life of significance may be more difficult to achieve. Either way, without education, the choice in jobs available is very low. And, jobs that give you choice may not even be available. If further education does not make sense to you at this time, there's also the next point.
- The last thing I had was something related to self-directed learning. If you're interested in passive income, there’s also methods like drop shipping and affiliate marketing. I was assuming you were doing those when you mentioned “e-commerce” and “passive income” in the beginning before I started the vetting process. I’m not going to get too much into this one, but Improvement Pill has a great video on this https://youtu.be/OpaOMYBzDZY .
To me, these methods of making money and finding freedom are different from Amway. They build something for the real world, lay a solid foundation for freedom, and provide value to others without the issues of misleading and manipulation. They are potentially much more lucrative and rewarding investments of your time, energy, and money.
It’s strange. I put a lot of time and energy into this document, even though I know that it’s not possible for you to leave Amway/WWDB. I understand. I’ve been in a cult before. It’ll probably hurt more to leave Amway than it is to lose me. This is because cults operate by meshing your emotions, identity, ethics, and values with your involvement. What’s even more powerful about the Amway cult is that they also bind you using your dreams and with an amazingly supportive community. When you leave the cult, it’s as if you’re turning your back against all of this, and it’s one of the most painful things I’ve experienced (besides losing you). I know how hard it is to leave, and I was only partially indoctrinated.
You probably hate having me describe your business as a cult. I’ve been in one, I know what they’re like, and I can say with full confidence that you’re in a cult. (There’s also scientific and psychology studies/evidence on Amway using cult tactics, I will gladly send them to you if you want to read them). You’re probably wondering what cult I was in. Did you know that vegetarianism was a cult for me? It hit a lot of cult characteristics as defined by psychologists. Vegetarianism isn’t a cult for everyone, like how Amway isn’t a cult for everyone, but once critical thinking is obscured, I will classify the person as a cult follower, and that included myself at the time.
How did I get out? Two main reasons. One, my parents forced me to set an exit strategy for myself when I started. Two, I learned the truth. For my exit strategy, I thought it would never happen, so I gladly told them I’ll eat meat again if my health ever declined to the point where I dropped to 90 lbs. (All those animal rights publications say that vegetarianism is the healthiest diet in the world...and I believed them uncritically because they justified what my emotional brain wanted).
For my second point, what do I mean by the truth? My undergrad degree is in Animal Health majoring in Production Animals. As part of my classes, I had to visit a lot of farms, learn about how animals are raised in Alberta, and raise my own animals. I saw with my own eyes the strict welfare standards and the care the farmers had for their animals. It turned out that the unethical farming and slaughter practices suggested by the animal rights activists (that I believed) were misleading and based on one-off examples (kind of like the success of diamonds ...sorry, couldn’t resist).
Even when I had those two criteria fulfilled, eating meat again was one of the hardest decisions I had to make. It wasn’t until my health deteriorated to the point where I couldn’t function as a normal person (well, I was 93 lbs when I started eating meat again, but very unhealthy and I had bad stomach aches every day) that leaving my ideals behind seemed like a possible option. So yes, I understand why leaving your business may not even feel like an option to you. But that’s why I’m stubborn on blind faith. I saw my own blind faith repeating itself in your situation. I know how blind faith led me to destroy my health. And now I’m seeing how it is destroying your potential and your future. Of course, this is through my limited vision, and you probably see something different, and that’s okay. I’m just letting you know how I feel, and hopefully you will consider setting up a simple exit condition (even if it’s a silly condition like what I thought at the time) and seek out truth from both sides of the Amway argument with an open mind (and there’s definitely lots of material from both sides of the argument on google!)
While my current perspective is that you can be investing your resources in an area that can bring a lot more societal value than Amway/WWDB, I do acknowledge that what I consider high societal value may be low societal value for someone else. Whether or not you choose to stay in Amway/WWDB, you will never be a loser or a quitter. I know you’re striving to build the best life for yourself doing what you feel makes the most sense for you, and that makes you a go-getter (or go-giver) no matter what you do.
Even though our relationship ended, it doesn’t change the fact that you are worth my time and energy to present my beliefs in this document. Even though the probability of you leaving Amway/WWDB is small, and even though you leaving Amway will not make me reconsider the relationship, it is still completely worth it. I just wanted to let you know that I truly want you to be happy and healthy and reach your full potential.
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Thanks for reading to the end! That's a wrap for the Amway series.
I just wanted to note that at the time I was writing the Amway document, I was a naive student who never worked a job in her life. i recognize many of my suggestions in this series are highly idealistic, but I still strongly stand by my perception that MLMs are socially and economically infeasible.
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